Sunday, July 31, 2011

Poor Unfortunate Souls

Poor Unfortunate Souls

I admit that in the past I've been a nasty

They weren't kidding when they called me, well, a witch

But you'll find that nowadays

I've mended all my ways

Repented, seen the light and made a switch

True? Yes

And I fortunately know a little magic

It's a talent that I always have possessed

And here lately, please don't laugh

I use it on behalf

Of the miserable, lonely and depressed

(Pathetic)

Poor unfortunate souls

In pain

In need

This one longing to be thinner

That one wants to get the girl

And do I help them?

Yes, indeed

Those poor unfortunate souls

So sad

So true

They come flocking to my cauldron

Crying, "Spells, Ursula please!"

And I help them?

Yes, I do

Now it's happened once or twice

Someone couldn't pay the price

And I'm afraid I had to rake 'em 'cross the coals

Yes, I've had the odd complaint

But on the whole I've been a saint

To those poor unfortunate souls

I will admit a passion for chicks. Since I found myself when I was 14, I decided I was born country and country is what I love. Part of being country is chicks. Don’t tell me that you don’t think this little chicken is the cutest thing you have ever seen.

This chicken is a White Silkie Bantam. For those people who aren’t chicken literate, I’m sure you wouldn’t have even realized that this is a chicken. This was my crowning jewel addition to my back yard flock before it was all taken away. She doesn’t even have feathers… it’s fur. Look how cute her little fur hat is.

When Mindi writes of the chickens she portrays them in their ugliest light. Loud, stinky, noisy… poop everywhere, poop in the kids hair, in her mouth, and in her butt crack…It sounds like Mo and Muffins to me…. or a horse… or anybody else that has any sort of a pet. The other women bloggers offer up their little comments in support of the horrible infectious atmosphere that “wild Danny” subjects his family too. When in reality, our precious little 3 year old daughter just asked mommy today if she could collect the chicken eggs. If that doesn’t churn your heart then you are a poor unfortunate soul. It turns out that there was only 1 out of 4 in the family that despised those beautiful little creatures. If momma ant happy then no one is.

Our entire marriage, people have been telling Mindi that she is so patient … Well the truth is… Mindi is patient and loving and understanding and exciting and smart. I’m just so grateful that she allowed me, for 1 year, to gain a better knowledge and understanding of the wonderful life of chickens. I look forward to the day that I can have them again. Whether it be when Mindi dies before me on earth or in heaven and I will build an earth where chickens rule the world.

I know there are women out there that love chickens and all the joy they bring to the family. Raise your voices and let it be heard that chickens are the ultimate bird.

I have some "confession" to make.

Chickens are awesome

Little kids like baby chickens

Having chickens is following the brethrens advice of having food storage.

Chickens poop is small and can be easily collected with the lawn mower… unlike dogs or horses. (Mindi will pick up dog poop with her hand, but freaks out about the chickens)

A chicken is a bird. There are over 150 varieties of domestic chickens. They were domesticated about 8000 years ago.

(What can I say, I love God and all of His creations. I’m not judgmental)

A chickens' heart beats 280-315 times a minute. A chickens' body temperature runs at 102-103 degrees. A rooster takes 18-20 breaths a minute, a hen 30-35.

(Most vegetarians each chicken because they are so cool... I Google it)

Chickens are not capable of sustained flight. The longest recorded flight of a chicken is thirteen seconds. A chicken can travel up to 9 miles per hour.

All domestic chickens can be genetically traced to Gallus Gallus, The Red Jungle Fowl. The chicken is the closest living relative of the t-rex.


(No commentary necessary)

Chickens come in an infinite variety of colors and patterns. There are seven distinctive types of combs on them: rose, strawberry, single, cushion, buttercup, pea and V-shaped.

Chickens make sounds with actual meaning. They give different alarm calls when threatened by different predators. A rooster will attack anything that he thinks will harm the hens. Their spurs (located at the back of their leg) can cause a very painful puncture wound.

A hen can live up to 20 years. She will lay eggs her entire life, with the number decreasing every year from year one.

(This is a picture of me when I was 23)

Chickens lay different colored eggs, from white, to brown, to green, to pink, to blue. The color of a hen's first egg is the color she will lay for life. It takes a hen 24-26 hours to lay an egg.

A chicken finds it very important to have a private nest. She builds her nest by first scratching a hole in the ground. She will then pick up twigs and leaves, which she will drop on her back. Back in the hole she will let the material slide off her back around the rim.


(This is a Barred Rock, was also in my collection)

It takes a chick 21 days to develop in the egg. It starts developing when it reaches a temperature of 88 degrees F. A mother hen begins bonding with her chicks before they are even born. She will turn her egg as often as five times an hour and cluck to her unborn chicks, who will chirp back to her and to one another.

If a rooster is not present in a flock of hens, a hen will often take the role, stop laying, and begin to crow.

A chicken can have 4 or 5 toes on each foot.

(Buff Orpington, was in my collection)

Chickens have more bones in their necks than giraffes. They have no teeth and swallow their food whole. Part of their stomach is used to grind their food up.

Chickens are very social animals. They will fight to protect their family and will mourn when a loved one is lost.

There are more chickens than people in the world.

“If we let things terrify us, life will not be worth living.”

-SENECA, Epistles

Open your eyes ye hormongers, live a little, relax a little. Enjoy life in all of its variety.

-Daniel Westenskow

What you focus on is what you get. If all you see is poop, noise, misery,and stench, then how can you expect to have anything else. This is not only the case with chickens, but life as well.

I promise that if you seek the good in chickens, the chickens will be good to you.

1 comment:

cortney said...

You seem very knowledgeable about chickens... Can you help me with something that has bothered me for a longest time? What comes first the chicken or the egg?